Part 13 – Types of 1st comparisons

Comparisons are a form of mental processing that tap onto our schemas and attitudes. The 1st comparison that we make in some situations seems to be connected to how our brains are wired.

I encountered a situation several years back where I made a remark that involved comparing an attribute of one person with another. One person was a friend with while the other was a person who was not in their alliance. Not realising that I had caused offence towards my friend, I repeated it and was promptly told to, “shut up!” to which, I changed the subject.

Fairly recently, a similar incident with a similar response, though involving other people happened that caused me to rethink the circumstances surrounding both that event and the one before. For the latter experience, I had after the fact realised that the remark was accusitory on my part towards my friend as I was making light of the situation, at their expense. I have since apologised to my friend.

Examining both my thoughts and that of my friend, I discovered that there was a marked difference between how the two of us perceived the remark.

The remark went a bit like, “they’re putting almost zero effort in…just like you did years back.”.  I was comparing behavior and I had inferred that it might be tied to a similar thinking behind the behaviour.

How is this 1st comparison different in the minds of males and females?

With males, if specific behaviours are being compared and relate to us, we’d likely focus on the attributes of the behaviour and perhaps talk about the thinking behind it. In a lot of circumstances, it could be related to a feeling that we might be experiencing at that moment.

With females, there seems to be a tendency to dismiss the behavioural presentation and instead compare the physical attributes of the other female to themselves.

The male perspective wouldn’t even consider that as a possibility whereas with the female perspective, it is almost a foregone conclusion.